Perché non riesco a cambiare?

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Alcune persone di fronte a qualcosa di fuori dall’ordinario in cui occorre sfoderare quella parte sicura di sé stessi, pensano: “Non ci riesco, non ce la posso fare! Sono fatta così, non cambierò mai! Vi riconoscete?

Ma che cosa è questa voce negativa? è una credenza su di te (https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credenza). Ed essendo una credenza, per sua natura, è VERA per te, non la metti in discussione nonostante ti faccia soffrire e non ti permetta di vivere come invece vorresti.

Ma perché dovresti mettere in discussione le tue convinzioni? Per diverse ragioni: sono fonte di motivazione, formano la tua identità, ti bloccano la strada, dirigono le tue decisioni ed azioni. Esse sono così influenti da dirigere, a livello inconsapevole, tutta la tua vita nella gioia o nell’infelicità. Nascondono risorse e capacità che rimangono purtroppo latenti se certe convinzioni sbarrano il percorso.

La mia verità è la seguente: non riuscite a cambiare perché non credete che sia possibile farlo! E trattasi appunto di una credenza-limite.

Tieni presente che la tua ferma credenza di riuscire è più importante di qualsiasi altra cosa.    Abramo Lincoln

Ho constato nella mia vita che ogni volta che decido di agire verso un obiettivo, un desiderio e dentro di me sono convinta di riuscirci, nella mia mente rimbalzano queste parole: “tanto ci riesco. Quando voglio una cosa, prima o poi, ci riesco”.

Le credenze sono dei semplici punti di vista e come tali si possono trasformare! Si sono formate nel passato in una situazione specifica ma continuano a determinare il vostro futuro (si auto-avverano) perché la nostra mente per semplificare e risparmiare energia generalizza un punto di vista che si è formato in una specifica situazione a tutti gli altri che accadranno.

Per esempio: se hai la credenza di non riuscire a parlare inglese fluentemente, non ti iscriverai mai ad un corso di inglese avanzato, nonostante tu abbia il forte desiderio di dialogare con il mondo. Tale convinzione ti limiterà nella vita e non potrai così allargare le tue conoscenze.

Un dato importante è che è stato appurato che le convinzioni sulle nostre capacità sono usate per predire successi/insuccessi: chi è convinto di riuscire, riesce! Sono molto importanti le credenze che abbiamo su noi stessi e le nostre capacità.

Prova a fare questo esercizio.

1-Individua una credenza su te stesso che ti limita

2-Mettiti nei panni di una persona che stimi e che ti conosce molto bene: “Che cosa ti direbbe, questa persona, per dimostrarti che sei diverso da quello che credi di essere?”

3-Elenca 3 fatti o motivazioni che riescono a mettere in dubbio la tua credenza

4-E adesso? Da 1 a 10 quanto tale credenza è ancora vera per te?

Buona trasformazione!

Stefania Sandri

 

 

 

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